| tell it to my heart:
-At Marco’s house. Marco walks into the kitchen trying to memorize his lines-
Mr. Del Rossi: Marco, we still fishing this weekend?
Marco: Yeah. Yeah of course.
Mr. Del Rossi: Louisa, I think our boy has gone crazy. Look he’s talking to himself.
Marco: You’re funny Pa. It’s for the school play. We’re hosting the city drama festival.
Mr. Del Rossi: Marco don’t tell me you’re becoming an actor.
Marco: No. No, this is just a favour for Mr. Simpson. I’m not becoming an actor.
Mr. Del Rossi: Right because you’re running the printing business with me.
Marco: Pa we’ve discussed this. Social work! I want to help people.
*Mr. Del Rossi waves his hand dismissively*
Marco: But no look. Social worker’s a good job.
Mrs. Del Rossi: Cousin Lou became a social worker.
Mr. Del Rossi: Cousin Lou? Please Cousin Lou’s a (fanel?)
Marco: Pa, Cousin Lou is a great guy. He helps people.
Mr. Del Rossi: Yeah, but he doesn’t help his poor mother. His mother would love a grandchild one day, but from Cousin Lou, good luck!
Marco: What? So he’ll adopt. It’s no big deal.
Mr. Del Rossi: No big deal?! Marco, for a parent to raise a homosexual…it’s like a failure, an embarrassment.
Marco: Oh really? Well let me tell you that…that I have a rehearsal and I don’t know my lines. Bye.
Mr. Del Rossi: Bye, bye.
-During play rehearsal, Toby is practicing with Mr. Simpson and Marco walks over to Paige who is also practicing-
Paige: Stressed much?
Marco: There is no way I’m ever gonna memorize these lines.
Craig: Relax. It’s not like you’re the star and the school’s hopes to winning this drama festival are riding on you. Wait you’re Hamlet right?! It is riding on you!
Marco: Yeah. Someone remind me to kill him after I’m done memorizing this.
Paige: I’ll remind you once uh you remind me why we volunteered to do this.
Marco: Because! Thought it’d be fun and because Simpson gave us that whole help me, help Degrassi speech.
Paige: Because someone knew the cute new guy had already volunteered.
Marco: Who? Tim? Okay. He’s okay. I mean if you like that whole dark, mysterious thing.
Paige: Hmm. Yeah. Quelle turn off.
*Marco smiles at Tim*
-In the hallway, Emma is putting up a poster for the drama festival-
Peter: Perfect.
Emma: What are you, the leaning tower of Peter? It’s completely crooked.
Peter: I wasn’t talking about the poster.
Emma: Okay let me set one thing straight. You are never getting anywhere with me.
Peter: Never say never.
Emma: But it’s fun. Never, never, never, never, never, never, never.
Peter: Yeah it’s easy to say, but it’s harder to mean and you don’t.
Emma: Please.
Peter: Look if you hate me so much why’d you go on a date with me the other night?
Emma: It wasn’t a date. It was an appraisal.
Peter: Oh yeah and how did I do?
Emma: My files are confidential.
*Peter fixes the poster and looks at Emma*
Peter: Now that’s perfect. See you around.
-In the hallway, Paige is practicing her lines with Craig when a guy pushes Tim into a locker-
Random guy: Faggot!
*Craig gets angry and walks towards the guy, but Marco stops him*
Marco: Craig don’t! Don’t. Tim hey! Woah, you okay?
Tim: Yeah I’m fine.
Marco: Here, dude let me take you to the nurse.
Tim: No, Marco I’m fine.
Marco: Well let me do something. Anything?
-At the Dot-
Marco: Hey sorry about what happened today. Degrassi’s pretty cool, but there are idiots everywhere. So who have you told?
Tim: No one except my best friend…well my former best friend.
Marco: Oh. Didn’t go well then I take it?
Tim: My best friend since grade 3 called me a fag and punched me in the face.
Marco: Well you’ll find a new friend.
Tim: It’s just I don’t anybody who would even begin to get this.
Marco: You do now. Tim look I’ve been where you are okay? Two years ago I was you. So I can help you and I want to help you, as a friend.
Tim: Thank you Marco. You’re like my Yoda.
Marco: *In a Yoda voice* Yeah well memorize lines we must, angry Simpson will be!
-Inside Degrassi, Emma is trying to sell tickets to the drama festival, but no one is stopping-
Emma: Tickets for the drama festival. Tickets? Tickets for the drama festival. Tickets.
Peter: Allow me.
*He takes the tickets and walks over to a random girl*
Peter: Hi I’m Peter. Degrassi is hosting the city drama festival. It’s a really prestigious event. It’s gonna do a lot for our school so we’re asking everyone to come out and show their support. Thank you.
*Peter gives Emma the money*
Peter: Selling’s in my blood. My dad’s a car salesman. Imports mainly.
Emma: Maybe he could give me some pointers. I could sure use some.
Peter: I’ll give you some pointers. Say today, 4PM, the Dot.
Emma: I walked right into that one.
Peter: Come on. Just go out with me again!
Emma: Okay Peter, my best friend hates you. I can’t be seen talking to you. You need to back off.
*Peter sees Manny and walks away*
Manny: Was he bothering you?
Emma: It’s okay.
Manny: It’s not. He was harassing you. We need to do something about him.
-At school-
Tim: Marco I’m such an idiot. I left my computer on and I forgot to log out.
Marco: Classic beginners mistake.
Tim: My dad sat down and there it was, a gay teens chat room. So he confronted me and the next thing I know I’m out the door running.
Marco: Oh my god. Where’d you go?
Tim: Nowhere. Everywhere. I just had to keep moving. It’s scary out there.
Marco: Tim you can’t do that again. It’s dangerous. You have to go home.
Tim: What if he kicks me out?
Marco: We’ll figure it out then, but first you got to go home and face your dad.
Tim: Right and tell him what?
Marco: Just tell him the truth. I mean you have to show him the real you right? Show him the Tim that you’ve been hiding all these years.
Tim: So I just waltz up to my dad and say I’m gay, and then what?
Marco: Well okay first, he’ll lose it. It’ll get nasty and ugly, but then in time he’ll see who you really are and he’ll wake up one morning and he’ll say my son’s gay and that’s alright.
Tim: Okay. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it Marco. I’m gonna tell him.
-At school, Peter is talking to some girl and Emma walks over-
Peter: The band’s gonna be really good. They’re gonna play some hits and some of their own stuff. It’s gonna be good. The guitarist is so good. My friend’s the drummer.
Emma: Am I interrupting?
Peter: Only slightly. *He turns back to the girl* Look my dad’s gonna be out of town so there’s nothing in the way of us having fun. Just come.
*The girl smiles and leaves*
Emma: You’re having a party.
Peter: You’re busy with the festival remember?
Emma: Which I can’t believe you’re bailing on.
Peter: I have more than enough drama in my life these days.
Emma: What’s that supposed to mean?
Peter: You blow hot and cold Emma. You flirt and then you shut me down. Face it you’re a tease.
Emma: Well you’re a jerk!
-At Marco’s house, there’s a knock at the door and Tim walks in crying-
Marco: Oh Tim. Woah. What are you doing here?
Tim: I’m sorry Marco. I got your address off the play contact list. I have nowhere else to go. Look I did it just like you said. I came out to my dad and he kicked me out.
Marco: Okay.
*Tim hugs Marco*
Tim: He actually kicked me out.
Mr. Del Rossi: Marco what’s going on in here?
Marco: Nothing. Pa this is my friend Tim. He’s upset.
Mrs. Del Rossi: Let’s go back to the dining room.
Tim: No. No I’m sorry for barging in like this. It’s just…I just came out to my dad.
Mr. Del Rossi: Came out. Came out where?
Marco: No he got in a fight with his dad…over the play. His dad, his dad just doesn’t like him being an actor.
Mr. Del Rossi: I can understand. Acting’s not a real job. It’s for the-
Marco: Papa can you leave us alone? Please.
*His parents walk back to the dining room*
Marco: Tim okay let me explain. This is-
Tim: Don’t Marco. Just don’t.
-At Marco’s, the next day-
Mrs. Del Rossi: Tim we’ll see you again tonight?
Marco: Yeah. Hey my mom’s right. You’re more than welcome to stay here. Make me feel better. I feel kind of responsible.
Mr. Del Rossi: Responsible? What did you do?
Marco: Nothing Pa. I just talked Tim into joining the cast.
Mr. Del Rossi: Yeah Tim, I don’t understand. I don’t much like acting, but your father, he kicked you out because of that?
Tim: See my father thinks acting is a waste of time. What do you think Marco? You know about acting, about pretending to be someone you’re not?
Marco: I don’t know bud, but guess you just gotta play the part as written.
Tim: Yeah, but you’re so good at it. I mean when you act you’re like Pacino. You fool everybody. Thank you. Um I have to go.
Marco: Mom, dad, here are the tickets. Festival starts at noon.
-At Emma’s house-
Manny: Faux il deteste la fouille (??). Um how do I spell deteste?
Emma: Deteste as in hate? P-E-T-E-R.
Manny: Okay that’s at least 10 Peter references in the last 2 hours.
Emma: I just hate what he did to you and waiting for karma to get him is boring me.
Manny: It won’t actually be karma. It’ll be a girl, Achilles’ heel-like.
Emma: Manuella! You’re such a genius. An eye for an eye.
*Emma shows her cell phone*
Manny: Baby that’s a telephone and you might want to use it to call the men in white coats because they pick up.
Emma: It’s a camera phone.
Manny: So?
Emma: So Peter needs to learn that paybacks are hell and I happen to think he needs to learn it from us.
Manny: And that’s why you’re my bestest friend in the whole wide world.
Emma: Time for a picture. Cheese!
*They take a picture*
-In the hallway-
Paige: Nervous?
Marco: Yeah not because of the play though. Tim stayed over last night
Paige: I hope you were safe.
Marco: What? No! Totally missing the point. Look he came out to his dad who then, get this, promptly kicked him out.
Paige: Wow. I just went from excitement to horror in 5 seconds. Acting has put me in touch with my emotions.
Marco: Paige this is so my fault. Okay I, well I kinda made him think that I already was out to my dad.
Paige: Your dad? The guy who thinks you listen to Britney in the car because it puts chicks in the mood.
Marco: I know. I was just trying to help him okay? Inspire him, be his mentor…his Yoda.
Paige: Too late, it is not.
Marco: Yeah believe me. It definitely is. Tim hates me.
Paige: He won’t. Not after you come out to your father.
-At Peter’s party, Peter is talking to the same girl as before, but walks over to Emma when he sees her-
Peter: Emma.
Emma: Were you expecting someone else?
Peter: Not expecting. Maybe hoping.
Emma: Well I was hoping you’d accept an apology. I was being unfair sending mixed signals.
Peter: So what’s the signal now?
Emma: Green. For go.
Peter: Let’s see what we can do.
-During the drama festival, another group finishes on stage-
Ms. Hatzilakos: That was a scene from Pygmalion Play by David Jones and Jen Walker from Carson Town.
*Backstage Mr. Simpson is stressing out and Marco is rehearsing*
Craig: Mr. Simpson you gotta breathe.
*He breathes*
Marco: And by a sleep to say we end. The heart-ache by the thousand…and the thousand natural shocks-
Mr. Del Rossi: Marco. You called?
Marco: I did, yeah. Um pa we need to talk.
Mr. Del Rossi: Sure.
*They walk outside*
Marco: Before the play starts, Pa there’s something that I need to talk to you about. It’s actually about Tim. I’ve been helping him lately because he’s younger and he’s confused. He’s gay and Tim thought that you already-
Mr. Del Rossi: No! You brought him into my house?
Marco: No pa I’m trying to tell you something. It’s not about Tim.
Mr. Del Rossi: I don’t want to hear about it. That boy is going home. I do not want a queer under my roof.
Marco: What if you already have one?
Mr. Del Rossi: You’ll be late for your play.
Marco: Pa.
Mr. Del Rosi: I gotta go find your mother. I don’t know where she is. You know how she gets. She gets lost so easily.
Marco: What? What? You’re gonna pretend?
Mr. Del Rossi: I gotta go find her!
*He leaves quickly*
Marco: You’re gonna pretend I didn’t say anything to you. Pa!
Craig: *On stage* And thy best graces spend it at thy will! But now my cousin Hamlet and my son. Hamlet?
*Marco walks on stage*
Marco: A little more than kin and less than kind.
-At Peter’s house, Peter and Emma are making out and she’s taking off his clothes-
Emma: Undo some things! No silly on you.
Peter: My. I’m sorry about the room or whatever.
Emma: It’s okay. Can we just-
Peter: It’s just…I hate it.
Emma: What your belt?
Peter: No I just wish I could take you someplace better. It’s just my dad practically uses this place as a storage locker…threw me in here with everything else he doesn’t want.
Emma: Wow. You have no private space. I can’t do this. My room since the baby, I’m stuck in the basement with the laundry and the mold and Snake’s old bowling shoes, so I can relate.
*Emma walks over to Peter and kisses him*
Emma: I need to go. Smile.
*She takes a picture of him with her phone before leaving*
-During the play-
Marco: Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times, and now-
Tim: *Whispering* How abhorred!
Marco: -how abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at it. And here hung those lips that I…
*Marco stops and walk to the front of the stage*
Marco: I’m sorry. Sorry. I have to do this. Dad! I’m gay.
*His dad walks out of the theatre and his mom follows*
Paige: *Quietly* Way to go Marco.
Marco: Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.
-At Emma’s house, Manny is reading a magazine-
Manny: Did you get awesome shots of his flat goofy butt? Does hilarity ensue? Will I laugh, cry, pee?
Emma: Manny it didn’t work.
Manny: No!
Emma: He barely noticed me. I guess I’m a lousy Bond girl.
Manny: We’ll get him next time don’t worry and we’ll put laxatives in his food right before a test and kabaam!
Emma: That’d be funny.
Manny: Yeah.
*Manny goes back to her magazine and Emma lies down looking at the picture she took on her phone*
-At Marco’s house
Mrs. Del Rossi: Marco. How was the rest of the play?
Marco: After my little bit of improve it’s not bad I guess. We didn’t win.
Mr. Del Rossi: I have work early tomorrow.
Marco: So we’re not gonna talk about this?
Mr. Del Rossi: I’m too tired for talking.
Marco: No Pa, stop! Stop. Did you ever know? Huh? All these years. Pa did you ever know that I was gay?
Mr. Del Rossi: Stop saying that!
Marco: I can’t! Pa it’s taken me 17 years to say it. I’m gay. Gay. I am totally gay.
Mr. Del Rossi: This is funny to you?
Marco: No! No Pa! This is not funny at all! I just came out to you in front of the entire school. Does that sound like a joke to you?
Mr. Del Rossi: Look you’re my boy and I love you. You’re the best son a father could ever want, but this part of you, I don’t want to know. I can’t know about.
Marco Then you don’t want to know me.
*His father walks away*
Mrs. Del Rossi: He will Marco. One day.
Marco: Yeah. One day.
-Scenes for next week-
Spinner: *To the camera* My best friend wants a party and my girlfriend wants to pray. How can I do both?
Voiceover: A weekend retreat has Spinner questioning the group’s message.
Some guy: Anything you want to be forgiven for? What about your friend Jimmy?
Voiceover: Will they push him too far?
Spinner: *Sarcastically* Thanks Darcy. No brainwashing huh?
Voiceover: Or is he coming around?
Darcy: All you need to do is believe, okay?
Lexicon of Love part 1
-Outside Degrassi, eTalk Daily is interviewing Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes-
Tanya: Hey I’m Tanya Kim from eTalk Daily. I’m here with Kevin Smith and his co-star Jason Mewes.
Jay: Tell me what a great guy I am ‘cause I have two tickets to the party of the year. Check it out.
Alex: Who’d you steal those from?
Jay: I was invited. I worked on the movie remember? I was gonna ask you to be my +1.
Alex: Too bad going with you is a -20.
Jay: Lexie! Let’s raise hell together like we used to huh?
Alex: I’m going with Paige Michalchuk.
Jay: You’re kidding me. The queen of Degrassi is taking the queen of the trailer park to the premiere?
Alex: I prefer to be known as queen of don’t need Jay. I never did.
Tanya: Hey are you guys happy to be back in Canada?
Kevin: I am insanely happy to be back in Canada. Canada’s motherland, Toronto! Cradle of civilization.
Jason: Toronto is where they have that poutine crap that lunchbox loves so much.
Kevin: Really sir in front of everybody do you-
Jay: Yo yo, listen! He chose a Toronto premiere over an LA premiere based on food.
*Alex watches them with a smile*
Kevin: Toronto is where we cast the play. Toronto is where we shot the play-
Manny: Kevin Smith is being interviewed right there. What do you think he’s saying?
Paige: That tonight is gonna be the greatest, most magical movie premiere ever.
Manny: It better be. It’s not every night we get to have our professional acting debut.
Craig: Yeah or have my music featured in a big Hollywood movie, which is why we are all going first class tonight. I’m talking stretch limo.
Alex: You guys got a limo? Dibs on sticking my head out the sunroof!
*Nobody says anything*
Alex: I am coming, right Paige?
Paige: I’m sorry hun, but they only gave me two tickets and I’m taking Hazel.
*Alex walks away angry*
Hazel: Please as if we were going to bring her. Our limo’s a skank-free zone.
Paige: Did you just skank-ify my friend?
Hazel: Friend? More like pet project.
Paige: Jealous much?
Hazel: No. I just don’t get why you hang out with her.
Paige: Funny. I was just asking myself the same thing about you. Enjoy the limo. I’ll see you guys at the movie.
*Paige leaves and walks inside Degrassi*
Paige: Alex! Wait!
Alex: ‘You want to go to the premiere?’ You said that. That’s an invitation.
Paige: It was really more of an observation, like ‘–you- want to go to the premiere’?
Alex: I thought you were serious. Whatever. I’m out of here.
Paige: I’m not standing for your whole ‘I’m Alex. I’m gonna ignore everyone for a week’ act.
Alex: So I wanted to go to a premiere once in my life. Crucify me.
-In the school library, Peter whispers as he walks past Emma-
Peter: Grab a book or something.
*Emma stands up and pretends to get a book while her and Peter whisper*
Emma: People see us, they’ll definitely start to wonder.
Peter: Who cares? I have tickets to the party of the year. Thank you mom. I’m warning you. Major devastation if you let me down.
Emma: What if I let you down easy? I already have a date…with my step dad. My mom has to stay home with my little brother. The thing is Manny’s in the movie. She’s gonna be there so…
Peter: Yeah no talking, no touching, no looking at each other. I know the drill. Just being in the same room with you tonight’s gonna be enough for me.
-In the hallway-
Ms. Hatzilakos: Kevin, Jason I’d like you both to meet one of Degrassi’s finest teachers, Archie Simpson.
Kevin: Right on. Sir.
Mr. Simpson: Wow. Wow. I’m such a big fan. You know Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is one of my favourite movies.
Kevin: Thanks man.
Paige: Mr. Smith? Kevin? Kev!
Kevin: As I live and breathe, Paige Michaelton! How are you?
Paige: Uh Michalchuk.
Kevin: Michalchuk. You know what? My bad. We just always called you the busted leg girl so-
Paige: Not anymore! These will be the least broken-est gams on your red carpet.
Kevin: I’m sorry did you just say gams? What 21st century teenager still uses the term gams?
Paige: Uh the kind who needs one more ticket to the premiere tonight. Could you spare a teensy weensy extra golden ticket Mr. Smith? Please for my friend.
Kevin: God you’re working me hard aren’t you? Just like a woman. You know what? I happen to have one of those teensy weensy tickets right here and it could be yours if you say about.
Paige: Mr. Smith.
Kevin: Come on. You know I love it. Let me here it.
Paige: Aboot!
Kevin: I melt! That’s just so cute. You earned this. Just don’t let me see it up on E-bay or else I’ma cut you out of the sequel too.
Paige: I can’t thank…um too?
Kevin: Yeah Paige. Uh we had to trim your part down a little bit so, and when I say a little bit I mean…completely.
Paige: Was I that bad and unaware of my badness?
Kevin: No! No hon. You were great, but it’s just in the course of cutting a movie, stuff you know hits the editing room floor. When I was doing Jersey Girl I cut J-Lo out of half the movie. Affleck I wanted to cut him out entirely, but then that just would have left that little kid you know.
Paige: I didn’t see Jersey Girl.
Kevin: Really? Well now I’m really glad that I cut you out of my movie. I’m just kidding. You know what, please tell me you’re still gonna come to the premiere
Paige: Yeah.
Kevin: Good.
-In the media immersion room, Craig and Marco are talking about the premiere when Paige walks in-
Paige: Here.
*Paige hands Alex both tickets*
Paige: And bring a guest. Kevin cut me out of the movie, hence I’m not going.
Alex: So what you’re just gonna sit at home?
Paige: I was thinking of lying actually uh in bed with ice cream.
Alex: Uh uh. You’re going.
Paige: This isn’t debateable.
Alex: Paige it’s not like actress is part of your 10 year plan.
Paige: Neither is humiliation.
Alex: Me and you are hitting that red carpet tonight and we’re gonna make Kevin so regret cutting you out of that film ‘cause we are going to look hot and I don’t mean up-do, pearls, pink prom dress hot. I mean hot. Hot!
-At the movie premiere, everyone is walking up the red carpet as people take pictures of them-
*Paige and Alex strut their stuff as Kevin and Jason watch*
Jason: And you cut her out of the movie? Jackass.
-Inside the premiere-
Mr. Simpson: Hey just in case you didn’t know you look beautiful tonight Em.
*Emma looks at Peter and smiles, while Mr. Simpson and Ms. Hatzilakos wave at each other*
Paige: So this is the part where everyone gets to see me cut from the movie.
Alex: This is the part where you sit back and enjoy being here with me.
*The lights dim and the movie starts*
Alanis: *In character* You boys are too bloody stupid to make the grade down in the states and your last hope is the school system of the Great White North eh. You want to get oot of grade 12?!
*Silent Bob nods*
Alanis: *In character* You better start learning what the metric systems all aboot!!!
Jay: *In character* I’ve got three words for you! Go to-
*Alanis smacks him in the jaw with a hockey stick and he falls back*
Alanis: *In character* There will be no more cuss words out of you, you potty mouth mall rat. You’re gonna learn the dual languages of my home and native land and you’re gonna savour my poutine!! ‘Cause you’re in Canada now eh?!
Manny: *In character* Jay when I was born Star Wars had already been out on video for 10 whole years. You’re too old.
Jay: *In character* I know there’s laws to prevent it. I’m gonna marry Appolonia. She’s the sugar in my maple, the cheese in my poutine, the bac in my bacon.
Ellie: *In character* The ick in pathetic.
*Everyone starts clapping*
-After the premiere-
Alex: Who knew Manny could actually act and Craig’s song full on rocked.
Paige: You’re sounding suspiciously upbeat. Are you sure you’re okay?
Alex: It’s a Hollywood premiere. Sue me for getting caught up in it.
Paige: Well the only thing I’m catching is a cab ride home for my hot date with Ben & Jerry.
Alex: What kind of friend would I be if I let you bail on the hottest party ever?
-At the after party-
Marco: This is the after party?
Hazel: This is the kiddie version. The real party is through those doors and it’s invitation only. Strictly VIP.
Alex: And so about to be crashed!
Hazel: You really think he’s gonna let you in?
*Toby and a very pregnant Liberty are trying to get in*
Toby: I’m a close personal friend of Kevin’s. If he finds out you didn’t let us in you’re gonna be in big trouble pal. Huge.
*The bouncer picks up Toby and puts him outside of the line and moves to pick up Liberty*
Liberty: Uh I can move myself thanks.
Jimmy: Hey. You were great in the movie.
Ellie: Yeah all five lines.
Jimmy: Well they were great five lines
*Cuts to Peter who’s putting alcohol in the punch*
Emma: What are you doing?
Peter: It’s vodka. I’ll only pour half.
Emma: Don’t. If you get caught you’ll be stuck in detention for weeks and then I’ll never get to see you.
Peter: Well you can see me tonight, maybe someplace quiet and secluded.
Emma: Theatre lobby 30 minutes.
*Manny and Craig start walking over and Peter quickly leaves*
Emma: Manny!
Manny: Hey.
Emma: You were amazing.
Manny: Really? You think so? Uh did you stay till the end to hear Craig’s song?
Emma: Of course! Let’s toast to Degrassi’s celebrity couple!
*Paige is trying to get in to the VIP section*
Paige: I did makeup on the movie. Do you mind if I cut through?
Mickey: Nice try girly.
Alex: Sorry I’m late.
*She kisses Paige on the cheek and hugged her*
Alex: Some jerk blocked me in at the strip club again. The sign clearly says employee parking only.
Paige: Oh sweetie I hope you didn’t tire yourself out at work. You promised me some hot dancing.
Mickey: Alright, in you go.
Marco: What?!
*Marco and Hazel try and sneak in and the bouncer kicks them out*
Paige: I can’t believe the bouncer actually fell for that.
Alex: Are you kidding? We’re a couple hot chicks. Of course he’s gonna fall for that.
Jay: Ladies.
Paige: Ew. VIP does not stand for vastly icky poseur. What are you doing here?
Jay: My boy Mickey right there. Hey. He worked security on the movie. Oh I saw your little girl on girl PDA. Is that why you dumped me?
Alex: Right. It had nothing to do with you hooking up with every skank in the ravine.
Jay: Ah and you’re trying to get back at me by hooking up with every skank here.
Alex: You do not call her that. Ever! Paige would you like to dance with me?
Paige: Love to!
*Paige and Alex start dancing together while Jay glares at them*
-In the theatre lobby-
Peter: Remind me to tell you how much I like your naughty side.
Emma: Consider yourself reminded.
*They start kissing, but stop when a janitor starts vacuuming the room*
Peter: Let’s go!
*They move into the theatre*
Emma: There’s somebody in here with us.
*They see Ms. Hatzilakos and Mr. Simpson making out*
-In the VIP party, Paige and Alex are dancing together as Kevin and Jason watch-
Kevin: This is unbelievable! They’re upstaging us at our own premiere, these chicks! Why aren’t you and I out there doing some kind of erotically-charged dance routine?
Jason: We can man. Let’s do it!
Kevin: It was a rhetorical question.
Jason: Dude don’t call it rhetorical. That’s mean. You’re rhetorical.
*Everyone forms a circle around Alex and Paige dancing*
-In the lobby-
Emma: I need to go in there and face them.
Peter: Don’t.
Emma: He’s married to my mother and he’s in the theatre necking with yours!
Peter: Running in there won’t fix anything.
Emma: How would you know?
Peter: Just do, okay? You don’t want to do anything until you’ve calmed down. You’ll regret it. Believe me.
Emma: I have to go.
-At the VIP party-
Paige: Ever feel drunk without drinking?
Alex: Is that when your shoes went AWOL?
Paige: They were pinchy. I’m gonna go get some water. I’ll go get you some. Hi!
*Jay walks past Paige and over to Alex*
Jay: So this new lesbian thing you got going on…I like to watch.
Alex: I like to punch. Dream on.
Jay: Lexie. Lexie, come on. Why weren’t you this adventurous while we were dating? We could have had fun.
Alex: You’re disgusting.
Jay: Oh and you? Putting on a show for everyone? You know, what makes you think tonight is about you anyways?
Alex: It’s not. It’s about her.
Paige: Here.
Alex: Thank you. Let me walk you home
Paige: But my shoes…
Alex: Barefoot suits you and besides my place is on the way.
-At Alex’s house-
Alex: My mom and her boyfriend are home so just wait by the door.
Paige: But I’m thirsty. Can’t I just get a drink of water?
Alex: No. I’m grabbing shoes and then we’re out of here immediately.
Ms. Nunez: Lexie? Hey. Who’s your friend?
Alex: Never mind mom. Just grabbing shoes.
Paige: Hi Ms. Nunez. I’m Paige.
Ms. Nunez: Paige? The Paige? I feel like I’m in the presence of royalty. You know that Lexie never stops talking about you.
Paige: Really? Little ol’ me?
Alex: Mom! Where’s Chad?
Ms. Nunez: Oh he passed out hours ago. Come sit. Can I get you something darling?
Paige: Yeah diet anything. Please.
Alex: Paige we have to go.
Ms. Nunez: Would you hold your horses Lexie and just let the girl sit awhile. Oh be a good hostess and get her a drink okay?
Paige: Looks like the party’s just getting started Ms. Nunez.
Ms. Nunez: Please call my Emily.
Paige: Emily. Okay. So what was Lexie like as a girl?
Ms. Nunez: You know what? I can’t remember.
*They start laughing and Alex walks off angry*
Ms. Nunez: I’m kidding. Lex I’m kidding! I’m just kidding.
-At Emma’s house, Emma is crying when Mr. Simpson walks in-
Mr. Simpson: Emma! What’s, what’s going on?
Emma: I’m making tea again and crying again. I left something in the theatre so I went back in to get it and that’s when I saw you and her. Ms. Hatzilakos.
Mr. Simpson: What? We were just talking.
Emma: Snake I saw you kiss her.
Mr. Simpson: I don’t know what to say. It just sort of happened you know? It was such a mistake.
Emma: So you stick your tongue down the principal’s throat by accident?
Mr. Simpson: Emma quiet please. You’re gonna wake your mom.
Emma: But why? Did you think it would be fun? Did you get to the party and want to act like a teenager again? Just give me a reason dad! Please!
Mr. Simpson: You ever done something you weren’t supposed to with someone you weren’t supposed to be with? Emma, I’m so ashamed. I won’t blame you if you never want to speak to me again.
Emma: It’s not about me. It’s about mom and whether I’m going to tell her what I saw.
-At Alex’s house-
Paige: Your mom go to bed?
Alex: Yeah. She said to say goodnight.
Paige: She’s nice. Like mother, like daughter.
Alex: Tonight was good. You’re my lucky charm.
Paige: Tonight was good.
Alex: Paige. About before when we were dancing?
Paige: What about it? We were just having fun. No big deal right?
*They hear Alex’s mom and her boyfriend fighting*
Alex: I’m walking you home now. Go!
Chad: Don’t ever call me stupid.
Ms. Nunez: Where are you going?
Chad: That’s it. I’m out of here.
Ms. Nunez: Chad no! Where are you going?
Alex: Will you stop it!
*Alex gets pushed into the coffee table and onto the ground*
-At Paige’s house-
Paige: Will you hold still? I’m trying to help.
Alex: Being here in your room just helps. Its quiet. No screaming, no smashing.
Paige: Nobody should have to deal with drama of the shoved over the end table variety day in, day out.
Alex: Even me?
Paige: Especially you.
Alex: Paige I’m in trouble. This isn’t really related to any table collisions that happened tonight. It’s a different kind of trouble.
*Paige and Alex start kissing and Paige pulls back*
Paige: Um okay…uh speaking of trouble or not trouble. Um, uh you take my bed and I’m gonna, I’m gonna sleep downstairs on the couch.
Alex: Paige!
Paige: Nighty night then.
-Scenes for next week-
Paige: *To the camera* I kissed a girl. Paige Michalchuk kissed a girl!
Voiceover: When Paige goes into denial-
Paige: *To Hazel* I’m not a lesbian, hello!
Voiceover: Kevin offers some advice.
Kevin: I don’t know. You guys seemed happy. It’s kind of worth investigating a little further I’d say.
Voiceover: And Paige isn’t the only one keeping secrets.
Mr. Simpson: *Talking to Spike and Emma* It’s about me. It’s something I did.
lexicon of love part 2.
-At Paige’s house, Paige walks into her room and opens her blinds loudly waking Alex up-
Alex: Who’s the evil genius who made mornings so friggen bright?
Paige: Oh probably the same evil genius who decided that there should be school days after crazy movie premieres.
Alex: Crazy? That’s the verb you’re gonna use to describe last night?
Paige: Adjective. And considering I voluntarily slept on the downstairs couch, crazy seems about right.
Alex: You didn’t have to sleep on the couch. You would have been safe in your room with me.
Paige: We’re gonna be late and I hate being late so you should uh, you should get ready. Now if I could just find my bus pass that would be absolutely brilliant
Alex: Paige.
Paige: You know the bus people should really just, just give an implant or a, or a tattoo and I could save-
Alex: Paige! Hey. I’m Alex, your friend. Can you just talk to me?
Paige: I can’t even begin to process what happened last night. Not with our little sister act slut dance or the drama with your mom’s boyfriend.
Alex: You call that drama? I call that reality TV.
Paige: It’s not funny. This is not funny. There is a girl in my bed, Alex. You! It’s like I woke up in some weird movie with subtitles. The kind of movie that I hate and I can’t deal with it, okay? I can’t deal with you.
Alex: Alright. I’m just gonna go rub some toothpaste on my teeth and then you can walk twenty paces ahead of me all the way to the bus stop.
-In the gymnasium-
Paige: Hi! Hi, hi. Sorry I’m late.
Hazel: Hey. What happened to you last night? You and Alex went in the VIP party and poof! You never came back out.
Paige: Um I’m not quite sure how to, how to describe what happened exactly.
Hazel: Why? Did you meet somebody? You did? Is he famous? Would I know who he is?
Paige: Famous no, but um you might know who he is.
Darcy: Sorry to interrupt. The assembly’s at four so we should really start rehearsing that new cheer. You know the thank you Kevin Smith assembly? The one that you’ve written the new cheer for. You have written it, right?
Paige: Sure hun. Um I have it all worked out in my head, so let’s meet back here at noon and I will have the most brilliant-est cheer typed up and ready for rehearsing.
Darcy: Okay. Great.
-Outside the school-
Spike: When you asked for a ride I thought you had something to tell me.
*Mr. Simpson rides up on his motorcycle*
Emma: I can’t believe you let him keep that stupid motorbike.
Spike: Aw it’s harmless in a mid-life crisis sort of way. He looks happy.
Emma: Mom be honest. He looks stupid. That bike was such a mistake.
Spike: Sometimes you have to let people make mistakes. That’s what love’s all about.
*Emma gets out of the car and walks right past Mr. Simpson*
Mr. Simpson: Emma. Emma I know you hate me right now, not that I don’t deserve it.
Emma: For having an affair with the principal? I think you deserve just a drop of anger for that.
Mr. Simpson: It’s not an affair, alright? It stopped at kissing and I promise it’ll never ever happen again.
Emma: I have to get to class.
Spike: *Driving away honking* Bye guys.
*Emma walks into the school*
Ms. Hatzilakos: Morning Emma.
Emma: Don’t talk to me.
*Ms. Hatzilakos pauses and when Mr. Simpson walks in they give each other weird looks*
-In the media immersion classroom-
Marco: Hey.
Paige: Can I ask you a teensy question? Do you ever think about girls?
Marco: Uh interesting question first thing in the morning. Now did you miss the years that I dated your brother?
Paige: But just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t think about girls every now and then, right?
Marco: Are you trying to hook me up with someone? Oh wicked. That mean there’s a girl out there who likes me?
Paige: No. The object of female affection’s pretty much me.
Marco: You? Oh I know it! It’s Heather Sinclair. Paige I’ve seen the way she looks at you and-
Paige: Ew. Double ew. No. It’s not Heather Sinclair. Alex!
Alex: Hey.
Paige: Hi.
Marco: Hey pull up a chair. Hey you two still need to tell me about that VIP party last night!
Alex: I think I’m gonna sit over here today.
Marco: Oh. Oh. Paige it’s Alex?
Paige: She kissed me last night.
*The bell rings and Mr. Simpson walks into the room*
Mr. Simpson: Morning class. As you know Kevin Smith will be visiting us today. I want you to take advantage of him being here. Prepare some smart media questions for him.
Alex: *In an IM* Could you deal with lunch?
PaigeL *In an IM* SS practice. Sorry.
*Alex looks upset so Paige sends her another message*
Paige: *In an IM* 2nd period spare—laneway?
-In the alley-
Jay: Waiting for someone?
Alex: Oh look! Here I am in an alley and a rat appears. Just like magic.
Jay: I found these under the table at the club. I thought maybe your new bestest girlfriend might want them back.
*Alex tries to take the shoes and Jay pulls them away*
Alex: Just give me the shoes and go away.
Jay: First I want you to tell me what it is you think you could possibly have in common with a stuck up cheerleader.
Paige: Sorry I took so long.
*Paige walks over and Jay leaves*
Paige: I seem to have interrupted fun time with Jay, which looked kind of hot.
Alex: No. In fact it’s been cancelled. Replaced with fun time with Paige.
Paige: Alex. We need to talk. This can’t happen. I’m not a…lesbian.
Alex: And you think I am?
Paige: Well you’re the one who kissed me.
Alex: What are you, five? And for the record you kissed me back.
Paige: I’m not even supposed to like people like you. People who, who wear black with navy and who hate everything and everyone.
Alex: I don’t hate you. Even if you are one of the popular idiots who drinks latte’s and reads stupid magazines and laughs way too loud.
Paige: I have to laugh when I’m around you. I can’t really help it.
Alex: And I have to be better when I’m around you. I can’t help it either.
*They lean in and start kissing while Jay watches them from the bushes*
-In front of the school-
Jay: Need a couple hands for your poms?
Hazel: What do you want?
Jay: World peace, salami sub, and a chance to talk to my good friend Haz-e!
Hazel: We’re not friends.
Jay: So you don’t want to hear my news then? That Paige has gone the gay way.
Hazel: Excuse me?
Jay: You heard me. Yeah, I saw your friend and my ex doing some seriously sexy dancing last night.
Hazel: So? You need to get out more. Girls do that stuff all the time.
Jay: And I just saw Paige lay a big ol’ smooch on Alex. You trying to tell me that’s something that girls do all the time?
Hazel: I’m not getting involved in this.
Jay: Listen! Do you really think that Paige wants to end her distinguished high school career as the school lesbo?
Hazel: You’re being disgusting.
Jay: I’m being honest! And what about you huh? Are you looking forward to those inevitable rumours about you and Paige? Is that how you want to be remembered?
-In the gymnasium, Paige is underneath a stunt while Darcy is topping-
Hazel: Paige I need to speak to you now.
Paige: Kinda busy right now.
Hazel: I bet you’ll be even busier later…with her.
Darcy: Paige!
Paige: I got you. What are you talking about?
Hazel: I’m talking about Alex. What is she doing here? Is she like your girlfriend now?
*Paige is shocked and drops Darcy*
Darcy: Don’t worry. I’m fine.
Paige: Who told you?
Hazel: Jay! Paige did you become a lesbian and not tell me?
Paige: No! No Hazel. I’m not a lesbian hello! Matt, Spinner…I’ve dated lots of guys.
Hazel: Well then how come Jay saw you kissing Alex?
Paige: Um I just got caught up in a moment.
Hazel: And that’s all?
*Alex starts walking over and overhears Paige*
Paige: Of course. It was totally stupid. It meant nothing. She means nothing.
*Alex walks away angry and Paige runs out after her*
Paige: Alex!
Alex: Don’t bother.
*Paige stops her*
Alex: How could you?
Paige: I do not like girls. I cannot like girls!
Alex: Then why did you kiss me?
Paige: I don’t know. I felt bad. I didn’t want to hurt you.
Alex: Who needs your pity huh? I don’t.
*Alex walks away while Kevin and Jason are shown signing autographs and are shocked at what they just heard*
Kevin: Well.
Paige: Oh um excuse me while I go uh flush my head down the toilet.
-In the auditorium-
Ms. Hatzilakos: We’re ready to begin. Can I have everyone’s attention please? Can everyone-
*She bangs on the podium and everyone settles down*
Ms. Hatzilakos: Can I have everyone’s attention? Please grab your seats. We’re gonna begin now. Thank you. At this time last year Degrassi was struggling out of an awful tragedy and then came Kevin Smith.
*Everyone cheers*
Ms. Hatzilakos: He cast our school as the backdrop for his movie Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian Eh? and as a token of our gratitude, Mr. Smith, I would like to present you with an honorary diploma.
*He stands up to get it*
Kevin: Noo. Thank you.
Ms. Hatzilakos: But before we make it completely official our spirit squad would like to send you on your way in style. Paige?
Darcy: What are we gonna do?
Paige: I haven’t come up with anything.
Hazel: Just improvise.
Paige: Okay. Uh…go. Just cartwheels okay?
Paige: Give me a K.
Darcy: K!
Paige: Give me an E.
Jason: E!
Paige: Give me a V-I-N-S-M-I-T-H. Yay!
*Paige runs out of the gym and Kevin starts clapping hesitantly*
Kevin: Uh…
-At Emma’s house, Spike feels Emma’s forehead-
Emma: Mom! I’m fine.
Spike: Don’t seem fine to me little girl.
Mr. Simpson: Buenos Dias senoritas!
Spike: That’s not your motorcycle helmet. Where’s all the Kevlar?
Mr. Simpson: I sold it! The motorbike, the helmet, the works because uh we’re going to Mexico! You, me, Emma and Manny will be spending a week on the Mayan Riviera at the end of term.
Spike: What about Jack?
Mr. Simpson: Oh the grandmas already fighting for him. It’s all been taken care of.
Spike: I love you so much! I don’t deserve such a perfect husband!
Emma: Stop it! Just stop it!
Spike: Emma. What is it sweetheart? Tell me what’s wrong!
Mr. Simpson: It’s about me. It’s something I did.
-At Alex’s apartment building, Jay is sitting outside-
Alex: Why is it that every time I turn a corner there you are.
Jay: I’m like one of those annoying pop songs. Once I get stuck in your head I’m impossible to get rid of.
Alex: What do you want Jay? Really.
Jay: My life sucks, okay? I’m kicked out of school, Sean moved away, Spinner’s found the lord and the only person who ever really got me won’t even give me the time of day. I’m not perfect. I know that, but I get you, you know? The real you ‘cause you and me we’re the same…you know? Why do you want to fight that?
*She opens up the door and they both walk in*
-In the gymnasium, Kevin and Jason are playing basketball and Kevin won-
Kevin: Don’t hate the playa son, hate the game. Know what I’m saying? Oh Ms. Michalchuk! Want to shoot some horse with us or are you running off to a spelling bee or something like that?
Paige: Uh about the cheer…please know that I’ve composed more cheery before.
Kevin: Nobody’s ever done a cheer in my honour so by default your cheer for me was about the best I’ve ever had, so thank you.
Paige: I was kinda distracted.
Kevin: Distracted, huh? Let me guess. By some kind of acid tongue, raven haired beauty from the wrong side of tracks, maybe?
Ms. Hatzilakos: Kevin. Jason. Listen your taxi’s here.
Kevin: Thank you Ms. Hatzilakos.
Kevin: Let me ask you a question, you like this girl? Like you know, like her, like her?
Paige: Yeah I like her, but I’m not gay. My brother is gay. I’m straight. I always have been.
Kevin: Your brother is gay? My brother is gay too! Even got married to a guy.
Paige: Really?
Kevin: Yeah it was the hottest wedding I’d ever been to in my life. Really, really cool. Hands down. Almost made me want to switch teams. Almost. Look I’m probably the last guy in the world who should be giving you advice on this very subject, but I don’t know you guys seemed happy the other night and that’s kind of rare and whether it’s gay, straight, bi, whatever…it’s kind of worth investigating a little further I’d say. Just my two cents. You just gonna stand there staring at me after I’ve dropped that wisdom on you? Come on that’s your move. Go chase the girl, silly!
-At Emma’s house-
Mr. Simpson: It was a mistake. It was just a kiss!
Spike: What about Emma? What about her feelings?
Mr. Simpson: Look, believe me it was never my intentions to involve her in this!
Spike: Just go!
Mr. Simpson: I’m so sorry Emma, but um, I’m gonna go stay at Joey’s just for a while.
Emma: No! No you can’t. Go up there and convince her to let you stay!
Mr. Simpson: Emma listen. What I did was horrible, but I would never have done it if there wasn’t something wrong with me. I’ve got to go figure it out.
Emma: Do you love my mother?
Mr. Simpson: Of course.
Emma: And Jack?
Mr. Simpson: Em he’s my son.
Emma: What about me?
Mr. Simpson: You know I do.
Emma: So what’s to figure out?!
*He leaves as Emma sits on the couch crying*
-At Alex’s house-
Jay: This is nice huh? Just like old times.
Alex: I said you could come in and watch TV Jay. That’s all. This doesn’t mean anything.
Jay: Yeah. Sure Lexie. Whatever you say!
*Alex’s mother and her boyfriend walk in*
Jay: Chad!
Chad: Hey!
Jay: It’s been a long time. You been working hard?
Chad: Hardly working. Where you at bud?
Jay: Oh you know here and there. Just trying to keep myself out of trouble.
Ms. Nunez: Give me some sugar you handsome devil. Hello!
Jay: Look at you. You are looking as beautiful as ever Emily.
Ms. Nunez: Aw such a charmer. I always knew this one was a keeper Lexie. Sort of reminds me of old Chad here. I am so glad you finally came to your senses and took Jay back baby.
Alex: I haven’t taken him back.
Jay: Well not yet.
*He puts his arm around Alex and she pushes it off*
Alex: No! Not ever. I need some air.
*Alex walks outside and sees Paige standing there*
Paige: I’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ring the doorbell.
Alex: We don’t have one. Welcome to my world.
Paige: Any room in it for a stupid girl?
Alex: I already have one of those.
Paige: Well how about room for someone who’s ready to stop worrying so much about what other people think?
Alex: There might be room for her.
Paige: Alex I’m sorry about before, what I said.
Alex: Whatever Paige. It’s cool.
Paige: No, it’s not. I said you were nothing to me, which…which is a total lie because right now you’re pretty much everything.
*They clasp hands smiling*
-Scenes for next week-
Craig: *To the camera* Nobody breaks up this band. It’s all of us or nothing.
Voiceover: Sometimes dreams come true.
Manager: I’d like to manage you.
Craig: A real music industry manager has signed us!
Voiceover: But some dreams carry a heavy price tag.
Manager: *To Ellie* Honey you’re not cut out for us
Voiceover: In more ways than one.
*Craig is shown holding pamphlets and talking to Joey and Diane*
Craig: I got early acceptance and a full scholarship. My future is music. I’m not gonna give this up.
****************credIT GoES tO cAsSiE************************************
THANKS GIRL |
